K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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