Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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