Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
