The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
