he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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