He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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