I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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