She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
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