Midget sex pt 2 tonight
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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