i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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