Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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