id be glad to
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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