awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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