Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
