no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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