awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
