He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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