we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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