i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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