i jhust puked up my retainher.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
