I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
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