Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
