I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
