so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
