im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize