It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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