Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
