He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
