we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
