so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
