he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
