I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
