Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize