i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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