he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
40s are totally the cure
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Randomize
