the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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