nut hugger
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
