Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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