Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Randomize
