so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize