ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
