Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
