If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
