There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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