all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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