"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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