I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
