singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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