Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Randomize