My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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