He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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