my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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