come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
