It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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