I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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