His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
