I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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