I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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