you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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