hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
