If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
