8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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