How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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