she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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