If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
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