Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
