does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
As shirtless as possible
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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