question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize