We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
