He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
