This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
