The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
