Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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