I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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