idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
even my farts smell like vagina
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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