**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
